I got kind of stuck in bed this morning thinking about all of my issues and how much I’d like to be rid of them. When I finally got my ass up it was only about 9am, so not that bad. I spent the morning looking for a stick to practice the bo with, but came up short. While that was going on I saw a really cool looking bug so I grabbed my phone from my cabin and captured it. Since I was at it, I decided to wander about and take more photos.
|these butterflies were iridescent blue on the other side of their wings|
|an old foundation|
|something has been eating up this tree|
I ran into Joel and he told me it wouldn’t be a problem to move away from Arthur for the rest of the ceremonies. He said to remind him later or talk to Markus.
Lunch was the same, of course. After lunch a few of the cafeteria women snuck up behind Joel and started breaking eggs on his head! Then they started singing happy birthday. That’s a Peruvian thing apparently. Glad it’s not my birthday.
After Joel left to get cleaned up, I approached Markus and Cvita about my maloka transfer and they completely understood. Cvita asked how I was doing and I gave my standard dismissive “fine”. She actually wanted to talk so we sat and discussed my goals and my history with my stepfather and the divorce. It was hard not to cry. It would have been fine I’m sure, but I still have a hard time crying in front of anyone. Especially if I’m not comfortable with them. She told me about her history of abuse and her healing journey. It was inspirational and uplifting. She mentioned having Maestro Ricardo do a special song to reunite me with my soul. Apparently your soul can leave you when you experience more trauma than you can handle for long periods of time, and she saw the traits of it in me. I thanked her and retired to my cabin and proceded to cry for a bit.
I spent most of the afternoon reading and relaxing. Around 4pm Arthur approached my cabin and I was like “oh great”. He just wanted to get a volleyball game going, though. I felt kinda dumb for getting all worked up.
I wandered over to the volleyball area when I saw Chris taking pictures of something by the mess hall. I went over to investigate and it was a HUGE grasshopper that looked like a leaf! I went back to my cabin to get my phone so I could get some shots myself.
|That's a piece of banana on the right for scale|
Eventually we got the volleyball game going with Chris, Jason, and myself vs Arthur, Damien (the talkative Aussie), and Marko Antonio (the driver). We won by a small margin, and had a good time. I forgot how much I enjoy volleyball. There were sand courts at my high school, and I spent a lot of time there. During the match I scuffed my knee and ankle on a couple of dives. The ground wasn’t quite sand.
Afterwards I realized I was pretty smelly, so I took a quick shower so as not to be offensive to my new neighbors at tonight’s ceremony. I’m really planning on going hard tonight. Cvita mentioned a couple things that reminded me of the EMDR therapy I underwent back home. She said I should try to connect with the emotions of the visions that are brought to me. She also said it was good idea to set up a safe place to go to when things get hairy. Hopefully my months of EMDR will help with that. It’s pretty similar.